“Every next level of your life will demand a new you, and sometimes it takes being broken in order to become that new version of yourself” Arman Tarun Sharma
I would hate to think that in order to become a newer me, or a more “whole me” I have to be broken each time, but perhaps in a way this stands true – perhaps there are elements that need “fixing” in order to become this “new version.”
Not everybody like this idea of being broken, and some would argue we are not broken, but instead this is just a state of mind, that happens to feel very real to many.
Perhaps instead of the word “broken” maybe a sense of re-adjustment is necessary, or re-alignment.
Do you meditate?
This may be an odd question to ask, but whilst meditation is familiar to some, to others, this is just something that other people do.
There are of course, many ways to meditate, and may not be to everyone’s taste, but if it is something you do, or have tried, you will know what I am talking about.
If you have no interest in it, that is ok, but of late I play meditation type videos to help me sleep in a bid to either soak up learning while I sleep, or to silence the many thoughts I have but last night something strange happened.
I had had a good day, amazing in fact and surreal, but this post is not about that.
I could not sleep as much as I tried, and it was getting later and later until it was around 3am and then “it happened” – The chat.
The 3 am Chat
So I ask myself why I cannot sleep and the answer comes back “fears!”
I am thinking it’s 3 am, why would I want to chat fears for ?
Bear in mind that quote about broken and fixing, so here are the things I had to deal with at 3 am it appeared.
- I was having trouble breathing as my room is stuffy, I knew I needed to open the window yet I was fearful if I open it someone would try and get in. – I needed to open that window.
- I have been putting off writing, writing on blogs, writing a book fearful that actually no one would be interested. Fearful I will not be as good as others out there or I do not have what it takes – I need to worry less about what others think, stop comparing myself to others, value what I have to say as it may help someone.
- Coaching – I really feel I could be good at this, and it is something that others affirm yet again I fear, who am I that I should do this, would this pay the bills? earlier that evening I was talking to some one in a forum, and I had left them hanging in mid conversation just as they were opening up – there was nothing untoward nothing dodgy, yet I felt the need to cut her off and say how a female may be better – why? safe guarding, protecting myself, maybe she could open up better to a female, maybe I wasn’t prepared to travel as deep as she wanted or needed to go.. The forum she had gone to seeking help was full of well wishers but none that even came close to the support she wanted or needed reminding me of “The Good Samaritan story” where some came along either ignored the plea for help or offered well wishes rather than actual help. – I needed to return back to the conversation. 40 minutes later we discovered the root cause of her emotions and I was able to support and help.
- Work emails – I have been avoiding these. I know I should open them, but I feel it is yet another work thing to be weighed down on what is already a demanding job, and they do not like us being on our phones in work time, and you cannot always get in to check emails on the work computer as there is work to do and it is in use so I end up opening up in my time and there is sometimes things I need to do and I feel weighted before I have even got into work as it is something else that needs fitting in but not opening them up could land me in more trouble – I decide to open up the email and despite my worse fears there was nothing too demanding – It was o.k, I was going to be o.k.
Having dealt with these, I was finally able to sleep listening to not teaching meditations but instead a children’s lullaby.
So what did I learn?
I learned a few things. I learned:
i) Fear is only as controlling as I let it.
ii) Fears serve a purpose, in the sense they speak of something that is not quite right whether that fear is rational or irrational it is telling us something and sometimes we may have to deal with it before it prevents us from doing something, if it does not do so already.
iii) As a coach, counsellor (whatever) I cannot expect others to deal with their fears if a) I do not deal with my own or b) I cannot offer tools to deal with fears.
I find this whole topic interesting, so if you would like to read more, I have included a few posts I found a good read. click on the links below.
If you struggle with fears and would like to chat or get help, let me know, I would love to hear from you and what your thoughts and experiences are around this topic. Maybe you have good tools or tips you could share! Click here to Get in touch.
Thank you for reading.
“Aim High – Aim Higher” Alexander Simmonds